Tim is another member of the ding-a-lings known as the Three Amigos. In fact, he may have been the one to first hang that nick-name on us... I'm not sure.
How much air you got?
He is fond of asking divers at the end of a dive how much air they have. The conversation
usually goes like this:
Tim: "How much air do you have left?"
Diver: "I have #### lbs left."
Tim: "How much?"
While Tim is a very conservative and skilled diver, he hasn't learned the last great secret
of air conservation. But his wife Lois, a brand new diver, already knows it! Good luck Tim!
I just farted.
Tim has incredible diving skill and he is a shining example of buoyancy control. A typical
good dive for Tim is when he can pick a patch of reef, set his buoyancy and hover. He will
stay in one spot not moving up, down or sideways... sometimes you just want to swim up to him and see if he died! Anyway, on a dive at a reef in Belize, known as the Aquarium, I was moving about the reef taking my usual photos, when I noticed he was about 15 to 20 feet from where he had been a couple of minutes before. Since there was no current, I couldn't figure out why he had moved. On the boat after the dive, this conversation ensued:
"Tim, I noticed you moved", I said. "I just farted and that's where I ended up", he replied deadpan. I nearly fell off the boat laughing... that's our Tim.
Gastronomic Black Belt.
If there were such a thing as a gastronomic black belt it would be Tim. He always told us that he grew up in a large family and you have to be quick to eat. Tim, Chris and I were having breakfast together one morning on a dive trip to Belize. Chris was cutting something on his plate, and as will happen from time to time, his knife slipped and he shot a link sausage off of his plate. In the blink of an eye, Tim had speared the link, snapped it to his mouth, bit off half and then turned to Chris. "Are you going to eat this sausage"? We were duly impressed with his speed and accuracy. I'd bet he could catch a fly with chopsticks!
Who has your credit card?
One by one, Tim's family has decided to take up diving. The joke around the shop is that
he just walked in one day, plugged his credit card into the stores card reader and left it
there. His whole family has great dive gear, he travels with us on our trips too! The shop
says thanks Tim! Ya' gotta' love a customer like Tim... but then he's more than just a
customer... he's family. Love ya' man, we really do.
Plan your dive.
One final note. Tim always took the lessons learned in dive training to heart, as we all
should. We constantly harp at our students to "Plan your dive, dive your plan". One thing we noticed in Belize was that the dive briefing would go like this: Pete: "OK we're going to get into the water, there's not much current so we should have a nice relaxing dive. Let's set our depth at 45 feet, no more than 50 or 55 feet, for sure don't exceed 60 or 70 feet. OK mates, let's go divin'! After a few days of this, Tim proposed this modification to our classroom lecture: "Plan your dive, f__k your plan"! We haven't embraced this in the class yet, but I made those same dives with Tim.
Tim can be the king of the understatement. We've done some incredible diving together and his typical comment on a dive is:
Not Bad. Doesn't suck.
Slappy's CPR Tip.
While bitch-slapping the victim and repeatedly dunking them under water, shout "Are you OK?"
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